Today I got an email from someone on the Stanford Reunion Committee asking me to submit a survey about my Stanford experience (actually, I’m pretty sure it was a chick in my frosh dorm). The purpose of the survey is to collect memories/recollections about the Stanford student experience. This made me laugh because before I even clicked through I was pretty sure I was going to see some lame ass “quintessentially Stanford student things.” I was not your quintessential Stanford student (or at least would like to believe that) so of course I had to click through to see what kind of standardized survey would be produced for a reunion.  I found myself clicking “other” and filling in an entry for almost every question. This blog entry is probably only going to make sense to my Stanford friends or those folks who have spent time on the Stanford campus.  I would be fascinated to find out if any of my blog readers also got this survey. Here is a sample of some of the ‘best’ questions:

Q: Favorite Stanford Landmark

Ok, I admit, I had a standard answer for this one.  I love the Main Quad and Memorial Church. The approach, the Oval, the foothills backdrop, the sandstone buildings…they are all quite gloriously arranged.  I attended a beautiful campus.  I’d spend time reading in the sun on the Oval, riding bikes through the quad, and I always felt really lucky that I was able to go to such an amazing institution. I never took that for granted.  I was always very proud to go to Stanford when I hung out in the quad—didn’t matter if I was totally looped and riding bikes at 10 pm with Rog and Vishnu, eating birthday cake with friends, basking in the sun and pretending to read, or actually, legitimately studying.  Good times. Great location.

Q:Favorite Place to Study

Forget the standard answers like the Co-Ho, your dorm (yeah right), Green Library, etc.  Everyone knew that you only went to Green Library to nap.  The best study place was the Earth Sciences Library. Only dorky grad students seemed to use this library. It was quiet, you could always find a good spot, and it definitely had an impressive old book library smell. It helped that I worked there so I knew all the good nooks.  

Q:Favorite place to spend time on campus

This one was tough. It certainly wasn’t any of the answers provided in the survey. The only answer I could kind of agree to was “Foothills/Dish”.  That was a nice escape, but my most fond memories of spending time involved Terra and the area immediately surrounding the co-op. I think I’d have to say it was a toss up between laying/reading in the sun in the Cowell Cluster lawn, and chillin’ on the couches in front of Terra.

Q: Favorite Stanford Tradition

These options were lame, lame, lame!  Paper Fights at Flicks? Gaieties?? Vienese Ball??? BLECH. I did very few of the ‘Stanford Traditions’. Gotta say, best Stanford Tradition I could come up with was the Terra 70’s party!

Q:Favorite On-campus activity

Sitting on the couches in front of Terra. Yeah, I see the theme. But WTF? most Stanford students were ANNOYING. I fled that shit and ran screaming to Terra.

Q:  Favorite Dish from Thai Café

Where in the hell was that? I either spent too much time with my pal Mary Jane and lost a lot of brain cells or else have never been there.

Q. Favorite Place to Eat Off-Campus

Another no-brainer but not on the list of ‘approved’ Stanford cuisine (no, I did not like Hobee’s).  THE answer from me is Cho’s!! I still consider Cho’s some of the best potstickers I have ever had. I seriously went at least once a week to this tiny little hole in the wall shop, run by Cho and Mrs. Cho. It was how my obsession with potstickers began. Horrible service, sticky tables, but tastiest little packets of goodness on earth…of course the best part was, as you were leaving with a tummy full of yummy, Cho would always chime “Thank you, Bye-Bye” in his broken English.  Ahh, I so want a dozen Cho’s right now for dinner.

Q: Favorite Off-Campus hang out:

Um, Duh.  CHUCK’S DONUTS!!!!  Surly Asian servers and all. Nothing better than some fresh out of the fryer donuts at  2 a.m while you crammed for a test.  Also, it wasn’t Chuck’s Donuts without exclaiming “Go Kill Yourself” (this only means something to those of us who have enjoyed the delectable treats that are Chuck’s Donuts. Basically there was a picture of a baker painted onto the window at Chuck’s. He was jauntily painted on the glass, strolling with a plate of donuts.  Someone had scratched out some of the paint on his belly so that it said “Go Kill Yourself”.  This made all of us laugh uproariously anytime we saw the chipper baker and his plate of donuts. Some of the best donuts I’ve ever tasted)

Q:  Best Campus Party

Um, yeah, I’m biased, but was pleased to note that one of the options was….  TERRA 70’s Party!!!

I have always love grapes. Especially green grapes.  I like red grapes too, provided they are seedless.  Seedless grapes are essential. It is so gross when you bite into a grape and crunch down on some seeds. Blech.  When we were in college, the MEChA hardcores lobbied for the university to boycott grapes to protest the working conditions of the grape pickers. The university caved and the campus was dry of grapes....my entire undergraduate stay at The Farm.  The chant "¡Uvas No!" was volleyed about campus, both in seriousness and in jest for 4 years.  Fundamentally, I understood why the school was boycotting, and I got MEChA's point, but you know? I love grapes.  I'm Chicana and I really love grapes and I thought that the boycott, while noble, was a total waste of time. I don't mean to be callous, but come one.  Like our one campus boycotting grapes was going to do anything for the working conditions of the grape pickers. Give me a break.  My reaction was purely selfish. WTF! I wanted grapes in the dorm cafeterias!

 

The personal result of the boycott was that I started to crave grapes in an irrational fashion.  When I went to the grocery store, I felt the need to eat them.  I have even, while a college student, snuck a few unwashed grapes at the grocery store. When I went out someplace and grapes were available, say in a buffet, I wolfed them down as if I might not ever get grapes again. When I went home or to Roger's parents house I would seek out grapes.  To this day, anytime I see grapes--at luncheons, get togethers, potlucks, etc  I find myself exclaiming "Mmm! Grapes!" and stuffing them down my throat like I may not live another day.   13 years later, I still have a hold up about grapes.  I buy them often. I don't even care if they are not organic, whether they were grown in Chile, even if they cost a lot per pound, I just get a little bit.  I see them at the grocery store and I have to have them. They don't last long in the Kurtz household.  Case in point--Monday night I bought 1.5 lbs at the Safeway. We ate some as a side with dinner.  The next day I was packing a lunch and decided "what the heck" I'll just take the bag of grapes for my snack.  I got into work, washed them, placed them on a plate, and set them by my computer so I could munch on them as I worked.  I wasn't really paying attention, just kind of snacked while I typed away. Within 2 hours they were totally gone.  Absolutely depleted...I ate a lb of grapes in one sitting.  And yet, I sit here thinking about the grapes and how I am sad that I ate them all and now have none.  I think I'll pick some up this weekend.

This video is supposedly from a pre-WWI women's self defense class. It is pretty sweet! I love how the woman does all of the techniques with cheerful instruction, while wearing a dress and heels, and never loses her headband.  Effortless. 

You know how when you are dreaming and you have to go to the bathroom you also have to go to the bathroom in your dream?  I don’t know if this is the case with everyone.  It is with me.  I could be in the middle of an adventure dream, running through a jungle and a door will appear.  I’ll walk through the door and there is a toilet waiting for me.  I could be dreaming that I am in a labyrinth and I’ll turn a corner and there will be a door. I open it, and there is a toilet.  Or maybe I am in a building and wandering around and next thing you know I am drawn to a door. I open it, and there is a toilet.  At that point in the dream I usually wake up and then get up and walk to a real toilet and do my business.  It is funny because the toilets in my dreams must have a door and a little room associated with it. Never does a pit toilet or Honey Bucket appear in my dreams.  Nor do I ever try to cop a squat in my dreams. The dream bathrooms are always very clean, sparkling white, or else they look like a bathroom that belongs in a house with bathtubs and rugs. Oftentimes I will walk into these dream bathrooms and will immediately think “Oh, I’ve been in this one before”. I have no idea why I dream recurring bathroom settings, but I do.  Sometimes the bathrooms in my dreams include those stupid dolls that have crochet dresses and a roll of toilet paper neatly hidden under her skirt. You know, the ones that grandmas and old ladies sometimes have and which usually reside on a shelf or the back of a toilet? I have no idea why these dumb things appear in my dream, but they often do. Last Fall I was in my Aunt Cris’ bathroom and guffawed when I saw one sitting on her bathroom floor.

Last night I was dreaming that I was watching Chloe play Super Mario Bros (the old school 8-bit Nintendo version).  We were in some split level, suburban house that did not belong to the Brussards.  It is a house I have visited in my dreams before.  I have a whole little world in my head of buildings, streetscapes, forests, etc that I happen upon over the course of several years. A lot of the spaces in my dreams are very familiar, though they are not  places I’ve been to in real life.   It is really weird. I am just thankful I have vivid dreams and can remember them.  Anyway, I’m watching Chloe play Nintendo and realize that I have to go to the bathroom.  I walk upstairs and open a door and there is the bathroom.  Sitting on the toilet seat is none other than my old  yellow Blankie. I exclaimed “Blankie!” and ran to the toilet.  I picked up Blankie and squeezed and hugged it with all of my might as I sat down on the toilet.   Poof!  I wake up and discover I am snuggling a pair of pajama bottoms that I had managed to pull off in the middle of the night.  I mean, I was really cuddling those pants like my life depended on it. I laughed at myself for a second, got up, went to the bathroom, and then got back into bed.

 

The cable bill arrived this week and I almost puked in my mouth when I saw the amount.  $97 for cable?!? WTF! I was about to go into histrionics when Roger gently reminded me that we got a special 1-year promotional deal when we moved and shifted to Comcast and the year expired. The days of Comcast Digital Silver for $24.99 a month are over.  We got basic expanded cable channels, HD stations, and HBO programming, for $25 a month. That is so amazing.  Guess that is what happens when you are a DishNetwork customer for 9 years and then make the switch.  I guess I can't complain.  It was so good while it lasted. But you get spoiled when you have such a good thing at your fingertips and I couldn't imagine not having those stations.  Of course, I'm offended by paying $100 a month for TV, even though I know we watch enough TV and get our $100 value out of it.  Really, it is the principle of the thing. It just doesn't seem right to me to have a cable bill that high.  Immediately, we decided that we didn't really need HBO and that would shave off 12 bucks. We mostly want it for the HBO programs, specifically, The Wire.  HBO is easy to cut, we don't really watch that many movies on HBO, and we can always re-activate it when The Wire comes back in the fall (which if you are not watching this show you should.  Perhaps the best show on television, period).

Then began the discussions of what other stations to cut and all hell broke loose. Roger's first question of "how much are you willing to pay for MTV Jams?" set me off in a panic mode.  How could he possibly suggest that the channel I watch most be cut?  It is my lifeline to hip hop.  I love my Jams. I work out to Jams, I clean the house to Jams, I fold clothes to Jams, I paint the house to Jams, shit, I even lay in bed sometimes and watch Jams. When I am sad or depressed, I watch Jams and it is pure escapism.  I watch a little booty shaking, hear some bumpin' bass, and it literally puts a smile on my face. Yes, I have to deal with too much Beyonce, but I also get to fixate on my Jamz of the week and peep new dance moves, etc.  I just can't fathom cable television without Jams anymore.  I seriously almost burst into tears at the mere suggestion that we get rid of MTV Jams.  My immediate response, "tell me how much we save and then I will tell you whether it is worth it" seemed valid to me, but honestly, I would be willing to pay a lot for Jams.  Perhaps way more than a normal, sane person might be willing to pay for non-stop, commercial free hip hop videos.   As Roger explored our cable package options online, I began to get even more panicky and defensive.  In my mind I was thinking, "how could he possibly suggest we get rid of Jams. That is so unfair, I don't see him giving up the stations he likes, what kind of double standard is that shit?!?" Then it got heated. I questioned whether he really needed ESPN-HD (the expanded HD stations).  As we bickered about what else to cut, I felt hurt and offended that I would have to give up my station of choice, but I did not see the same type of sacrifice coming out of Roger.  I'm not saying any of this emotional response is sane or rational.  I can only attribute it to the fact that I really love Jams and felt  put out at the notion of giving it up.  I have always loved music videos and I love Jams because it is just hip hop all the time. I don't gotta watch any bullshit Dixie Chicks, Evanescence, stupid boy bands, JSimp, or commercials.  I just get pure hip hop all the time.  It satisfies me deeply.  When we both realized that the discussion was about to turn into a full blown fight, we decided to stop talking about it and revisit  the next day.

The next day we talked about it, and by that point I was dejected. Fine, if we have to give up Jams, I’ll give up Jams.  I said this, but I think it was a shallow acquiescence and Roger could tell I didn’t really mean it as I said it with a sad voice and dejected tone.  Again, I fully admit that this is not a sane response to a cable channel.   In the end we compromised, as every good couple should do.  We reduced our cable package to the cheapest package that still includes MTV Jams.   It is still more expensive than $25 a month, but that is ok. We’ll try out this new configuration and revisit the situation in a month or two.  I’d give up a lot for Jams. I’d even agree to bring my lunch every day (as opposed to eating out) if it meant I could keep Jams. I’d stop buying books and only go to the library if that meant I could keep Jams.  I think that sacrifice says a lot.  In the end, we both win. Rog keeps ESPN-HD and I get to keep my Jams. 

• Beyonce.  When any of her songs come on the radio I curse her existence and quickly change the station.
• Jennifer Aniston. Poor, Jen. Wah, wah. I don't care who she is dating, whether she is getting plastic surgery, or whether she is finally ok with Brangelina.  Get over it.
• Rachel Ray. I am so tired of the media talking about how tired they are about seeing/hearing Rachel Ray.  Come on now, don't they know when to stop?
• Cameron Diaz.  She was so  3 years ago. I"m so tired of her wrinkly, sun damaged/pruney face, and crap hair.  Get over it, girl.  Your career is done. I'm shocked JTimb didn't dump her ass long, long ago. 
• J Simp.  Talentless hack.  Who gives a rip who she is dating. It is all a publicity stunt anyway. Can you say vapid?
• Brittney Spears.  She is white trash. She will always be white trash. Why don't people get this?  Why is this newsworthy?
• Paris Hilton.  Skank ho.  'nough said.
• Lindsay Lohan.  In rehab, out of rehab, crazy partying, rude behavior.  Same ol, same ol.  Again, why is this worth's anyone time?